There's nothing bullies like more than to get under your skin. Whether it's the superfluously critical in-law or the troll on your social media account or even worse your ex-partner, getting a rise out of you seems to give them pleasure and satisfaction. So why fuel their fire? It can be challenging to deal honourably with others when they come off as judgmental, offensive, or belligerent. So when you find those pesky defenses and negatively charged emotions rising up within you, remember one simple maneuver that may just keep you sane—reframe it.
STAY CALM AND DON'T FUEL THE FIRE!
When a photographer takes a picture, what he or she includes in the frame makes a big difference. A portrait focuses solely on the face of a particular individual. Similarly, when we find ourselves focused on the actions of one person, that's all we see. So if they treat us poorly, it fills our view and consumes our attention. However, if the photographer were to pull back and frame a bigger picture, the person originally photographed would not seem as important in light of the overall scene. When you learn to pull back and reframe a negative interaction, it can make all the difference. You may have a judgmental in-law, but your spouse loves you. Your life is good. Your kids are happy. There's a bigger picture, and you are not enslaved to seeing only one person's opinion on your life. Same goes for a bossy boss, a complaining coworker, or a negative naysayer on social media. Reframing your perspective in the midst of conflict could very well help you stay cool, calm, and collected. Remember, keep the negativity of others in its proper place. If there's truth in it, acknowledge and learn from it—but don't react to it. The quickest way to do this is to simply reframe it in light of the bigger picture and know their opinion is not the only one that matters.