Parents need to consider the ramifications of taking matters to court rather than settling out of court through ADR- Alternative Dispute Resolution such as Mediation- open or closed, Med-Arb or better yet through Collaborative Law.
Anyone worth listening to will tell you that there is no winning in court. It is a huge loss on both sides, financial, stress, mental health compromised and continued court proceedings that never seem to end. You can easily end up paying up to and beyond a half a million and still be left with no justice rendered. Parents can be in breach of court order after order and this never ends. A total waste of time, money and energy is spent by the parents.
Very few Judges are equipped to handle sensitive matters related to children and to sieve through voluminous materials. Affidavits are often times filled with frivolous and salacious allegations that are ill-founded. Many Judges are worn out and have limited time to see through what is fact and what is just one party wanting to win at all costs. Judges do not have knowledge nor experience to deal with personality disorders such as Narcissistic bullies, either female or male. They never learned this in Law School as it has not yet been taught. Given that anywhere from 60 to 80 percent of litigants are unrepresented, it leaves the courts with little guidance and assistance to manage very high conflict cases where often times personality disorders are at play.
Winning is not the appropriate outcome. What is best- is to put the Best Interest of the Children first and foremost. Court is just a constant revolving door where there is no end – nor justice rendered. The courts rarely use the powers that they have been given to them by the Family Law Act. Judges rarely have the knowledge to understand child development and what is in the best interest of children. They just want the case off their explosive and extensive docket. Endorsement after endorsement leads to hopelessness and helplessness on the part of the parent/s.
Remove yourself from this process and GO THE ADR ROUTE for you and your family and most notably for your children. Seek books that speak to Healthy Divorce. See my links on my website for further places for help and knowledge.